most unexpectedly cozy childhood locations

in a car in the rain on the way to a girl scout overnight


a tornado drill in elementary school


a red eye flight before takeoff when only the aisle lights are on

clothing racks at a department store


a restaurant booth you’re lying across because you’re too tired to eat

underneath any table, ever

u say yes to concentrate

juicy j cant

words i like right now

abscond, ruins, forthwith, glum, nebbish, flaccid, jaunty, bravado, wavy, divot, rank, rancid, foul, loamy, leer, sniveling, bask, fibrous, egregious, acrid, fleshly

which brings me to my newly discovered fave:
fleshpots

me w/ human love and affection

my friend found this thing i drew when i was like 11

visual representation of my 2013 goals

Personal Emoticon MVP Awards

:,)    the single tear of joy
T__T    the tear/eye roll combo
-___-    the whaleface
o.O    the incredulous eye bulge/narrow
:/   the wonky judgmental frown
ORZ    the man banging his head against the ground
¯\_()_/¯   the shrug
(˘˘)✌  the smugly cheerful
 ‿ ✿    the gimlet eyed
(-_-;) the bow of shame/humility
\(-_- ) the solidarity
( -_-)/\(-_- ) the high five
@_@ the dazed and confused/internet trance

Rookies of the Year:

;:-) - the eyebrow raise
3==3 the farting butt
(ノ゚0゚)ノ    the paul revere
༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽    the internet sloth blob
n@0@n    edvard munch’s the scream
" ( y ) "    the hip shake

u heard it hear first soap is soft and basic

whoa have you ever looked at the weekly charts for your last.fm? i can go back like 3 years and just by looking at the songs i was playing the most can remember the mood of that week exactly. holy shit this is so weird and cool.

since the age of 16 i’ve kept monthly “new+good” playlists where i dump all the songs i’ve discovered and liked that month. basically, this ends up soundtracking the month because when i like a song, i rinse it all the way out til i can’t listen to it anymore. now throwing one of those playlists on feels like a very soft form of time travel. for me, music is like this viscous liquid that carries all the weird necessary particles of my life, like plasma. i change emotional allegiances every minute but music jells them into a narrative.

i don’t entirely understand people who don’t need music soundtracking every last thing they do. it’s gotten to the point where i can’t shower, drive, sit in an airport, catch a bus, mix a drink, fold laundry, cook a meal, or do the dishes without music.   seriously, i get this weird pained grasping feeling in my stomach if i know i’m going to have to do one of those things without a playlist behind it. leibniz said this thing i love about how music is the pleasure the human mind experiences in counting without knowing that it is counting. i used to (or still do) have this theory that music will always hit at your gut harder than even the best words because it has a pulse, and i say this as someone who is only any good at composing the latter. music is just so weird! i read today that animals don’t appreciate human music, and to them it’s actually just this mildly irritating background noise. here:

an animal’s music would communicate to its body, not ours. they don’t like human compositions because they’re not composed like humans.

i also read once about this experiment where they placed different vibrations on the hands of both deaf and non-deaf people. both the groups showed activity in the part of the brain that processes vibration, but the deaf people also showed activity in the auditory cortex, which usually only processes sound. from what i understood, this means the brains of the deaf rewire themselves to hear music, translating touch into something listenable. so, then, music is not so much something you learn by ear; rather,it’s a thing you know intimately before ever hearing it, like the polar opposite of a dead language. and all of this is so indescribably cool that it makes my brain hurt the way it does when i try to imagine the universe, and then what’s after the universe. ahhh, you guys, i don’t believe in any kind of god, but whatever weird science makes me want to dance to invisible waves, i feel really lucky to have it

LILLIAN