January 2011
“I got some ink and had a pretty stupid haircut when I went in, which really...”
– 2 Years In Prison - A Man’s Story
this is really interesting and (probably, I think?) not made up.
“I asked Lynn Philips for her favorite joke of Iris’s. “My personal favorite,”...”
– from Emily Prager’s introduction to After Claude by Iris Owens (h/t Sadie!)
“Standing hesitant and naked in front of the door, light streaming through from...”
– show me your burger: tokens
(via nogreatillusion)
“Nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff. We don’t...”
– John Green (via abodycomingthroughtherye)
teensfightingonyoutube:
was just about to text my cat. realized she doesnt have a phone and is also, by nature of being a cat, illiterate
“‘Never have I ever,’ I began again, ‘been unfaithful to someone I love.’
...”
– Shannan Rouss, “Dog People” (via Storyville)
“A piece of green pepper
fell
off the wooden salad bowl:
so what?”
– “Haiku Ambulance” by Richard Brautigan
“I don’t have a lot of personal, life experience, but if I’ve learned anything...”
– Liz Lemon (via prettyproblematic)(via drinkyourjuice, octopuspatronus)
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“Stop organizing life around people who don’t get the joke. Fuck them if they...”
– Bill Maher
[via allow : passthemike](via drinkyourjuice)
LICENSED TO DRIVE NOW
at age 20.
let’s pour one out for my dignity.
Oh wait hey it's also this tumblr's birthday
because I started it to post a picture of my cake. Pictures of cakes. 2gether we were destined 4 gr8ness. Ok, that’s enough of that. Now I gotta go take a driving test because LOL at my life.
Stellastar- My Coco
Oh my god, does anyone else...
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I think it would crush me
to know just how primitive and not totally averse to feasting on my flesh my pets truly are. Jerks can’t even recognize themselves in the mirror. I mean, what keeps my cat from attacking me in a Timothy Treadwell-style situation besides the fact that his fat pouch drags on the floor and he’s a lazy overfed diva? Probably not much. Probably the testicles we had removed in his youth....
Musical Artists Whom I Don't (or Extra Don't)...
Counting Crows
Miley Cyrus
Taylor Swift
Kelly Clarkson
Linkin Park
Collective Soul
Adam Lambert
Something Corporate
Kenny Loggins
Hey now, December’s great, relative to the rest of the shit sarcophagus that is winter! You’ve generally got some kind of gift-giving holiday, a break from work, lit up city streets, good food, and a lack of the winter-borne despondency that tends...
Musical Artists Whom I Don't (or Extra Don't)...
Counting Crows
Miley Cyrus
Taylor Swift
Kelly Clarkson
Linkin Park
Collective Soul
Adam Lambert
Something Corporate
Kenny Loggins
December’s great, relative to the rest of the shit sarcophagus that is winter! You’ve generally got some kind of gift-giving holiday, a break from work, lit up city streets, good food, and a lack of the winter-borne despondency that tends to show...
“But you don’t really want to marry him. If you think you do, you’re due for a...”
– Julie Klausner, F/M/K: Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nicholson, Warren Beatty | The Hairpin
“All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of...”
– William Faulkner (via whilehighblog)
“All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of...”
– William Faulkner (via whilehighblog)
“Whenever somebody calls me just to talk, I feel like an alien pretending to be a...”
– pina banina: Truth
(via nogreatillusion)
“We’ve been working together since Swordfish… I’m the prospector, she’s the cook....”
– Tom Waits, speaking about his wife. (via thebronzemedal) (via whokilled)
“We’ve been working together since Swordfish… I’m the prospector, she’s the cook....”
– Tom Waits, speaking about his wife. (via thebronzemedal) (via whokilled)
Sufjan Stevens- Amazing Grace
Not to sound like a...
“My father got sick when I was 22… and I was poor. And my father had an ulcer,...”
– CHRIS ROCK, responding to host Bill Maher asking if he ever went to the emergency room as his primary healthcare provider, on Real Time (via tiportiff, inothernews) (via lionofbedstuy) (via sobeautifullyhuman) (via bryanboova) (via bringtheruckuss)
“My father got sick when I was 22… and I was poor. And my father had an ulcer,...”
– CHRIS ROCK, responding to host Bill Maher asking if he ever went to the emergency room as his primary healthcare provider, on Real Time (via tiportiff, inothernews) (via lionofbedstuy) (via sobeautifullyhuman) (via bryanboova) (via bringtheruckuss)
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